This year, as with every other year of being disabled, brought forth a new health issue to deal with. It was quite unexpected and took me by surprise. The effect was to hit me quite literally like a punch in the stomach. I had worked so hard on myself to be positive, happy and content with my lot and this just was one problem too many for me to handle. What had I done to deserve this?
I asked myself this question, I asked a tsaddik this question and I asked G-d this question. No answers were forthcoming. But G-d found me the solution. He didn't take the health problem away, he just gave me Pesach to worry about instead!
The ability to handle and live with my health issues was a big step forward. This small step gave me the confidence to make a giant leap. The main gripe I have with being disabled is not being completely independent. But independence is really only a frame of mind. Today we have the technology for physically challenged people to live a totally independent life.
So I got my electric wheelchair fixed, and started a new life. Small trips gave me immense joy. The first time I took one of my kids to the doctor on my own was such an amazing experience. Then I got braver, a bus and train trip on my own. It was kind of scarey, but this is Israel and everyone mucks in to help. Now I can go out without the expense of a taxi.
The next step is to pass my driving test, and drive an adapted car. It's hard because of my hand problems, but I'm going to go for it. Independence is not only about mobility. It's about doing things for yourself. Even when it takes 10 minutes to make a cup of coffee and you spill a little on the way, it tastes better when you make it yourself.
What lessons can I pass on to my friends? Call out to G-d when you have a problem, no matter how small it is. G-d will find you the solution. We live in a world without answers, only questions. Keep asking G-d to help you and you will get the best help for your situation.
Please let me hear your thoughts.
